Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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