i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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