Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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