airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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