Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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