Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize