i need an iv and a liver transplant
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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