i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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