Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize