im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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