tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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