DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize