no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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