watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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