I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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