And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
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30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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