I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
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well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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