Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize