just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
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I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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