you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I have post one night stand depression
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