I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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