i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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