I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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