How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize