Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize