is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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