It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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