I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize