Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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