if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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