I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i now understand why vodka
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize