Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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