Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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