i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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