If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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