he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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