think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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