Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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