I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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