watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize