I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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