fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
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I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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