Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
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Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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