if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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