I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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