Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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