I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
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I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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