His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize