So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize