Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize